Jim Irsay's Briefcase Fantasy Draft Recap

In the dark hours of September 7th, a fantasy draft was held that could have repercussions on a global scale. A league with two commissioners. A league with 12 teams and half PPR. A league with history. A league about a "Briefcase". However, this year things are bound to change. With last years winner already moving down the post draft ratings rankings.

As you can plainly see the ESPN draft rankings as of this publishing have the reigning champion already sliding down the board. What's behind that? Most likely because living in the south plaza is magnificent. In the south plaza neighborhood, one feels like a roman citizen during the crest of the Roman Empire.

Slander out of the way, lets take a look at the challenger from south plaza, Smoke a Jeffery:

Smoke a Jeffery looks to be a solid team with good wideout and running back cover. Will definitely be looking for QB cover come Mahomes' bye week. You can give him flak for taking hunt, but points are points in this here league. It's not like you can give a guy less points just because he did some bad stuff. Be on the lookout for Gesicki to break out, as the quarter back he has throwing to him is, well, more accurate than Mahomes.

Overall: B+

rickthesizzler

Already, one can see the young Ricky sizz is playing the IR game. He's known to monitor the wires and keep one airpod in for work and another on am sports talk radio for up to the second updates on player availability. Breece Hall could have a breakout year, but the Swift pick in the first round is gutsy and this writer thinks there's a good chance it pays off. Also, I can't help but see there is but only one player who is Scottish on this team, Brandon McManus, who will put the football through the uprights in that thin Denver air (trust me, I seized up there once)

Overall B-

Cocaine Backed Securities

A well rounded team here drafted by CBS, and as we all know, these are just supposed to be funny team names, not places where come to find certain things. Love the Jeudy pick. Love Ekeler. However, I think Aaron Rodgers is done for without Adams and the Packers will look to their backs more than most teams for reception yards. In this writer's opinion, This team looks bound for maybe making the playoffs.

Overall: C

Zack Staceys Body Slammers

I gotta admit I have no idea who Zack Stacey is, and I'm a huge wrestling fan. He must be on one of those wrasslin shows. Let's look at the team.

I have a feeling Tom Brady might die this season so there was great pick value there, but I think Matt Stafford went pretty quickly afterwards. This team looks like it could have a great season. In half PPR its great to have half backs that can catch the ball and more importantly targeted. I will reach out to the owner after this post because I just now realized he has drafted a player who does not even have an NFL contract. That will hurt the draft rating.

Overall: C-

Mahomie Carter Can't Reed

With the first pick, Mahomie took JT which I think is a good pick, a consensus pick, if you will. His average draft position on ESPN was a 1.3 leading the way by at least two points over McCaffrey and some other guy. As you can see, lots of good projections there for week one, but projections are projections. They aren't real numbers and let me tell you people Mahomie knows about numbers. Like the Mooney pick, Burrow can throw. There's a reason this team is rated highly in the post draft rankings.

Overall B+

Team Healey

Again we see great projections. Dalvin Cook is gonna run over motherfuckers. Kelce is gonna run through, around, and over defenders. Dual threat qb Lamar Jackson will more than likely average high teens low twenties all year. I think team Healey has picked up a great squad and I look forward to his working of the wire, and turning this team into a powerhouse that I back to make the postseason, but as for the draft, it could've gone better.

Overall: C

Bi-Curious George

This looks to be a really fun team. Just a team you'd want to hang out with down in Miami where Tyreek could spend his whole bonus on a yacht and he could reunite with Mecole HARDman reconnect. Allen is one hell of a QB and will get lots of points this season. The bench looks week and Zach Ertz would probably be better off letting his wife take his spot in the NFL. Anywho, I think that this season George could go either way.

Overall: C

Diamond Dogs

The Diamond Dogs look to build on a positive season last year and have done so this far by following rickthesizzler and putting someone on IR to take advantage of an extra roster spot. Smart play. I love Justin Jefferson's ability and it will be exciting to see if he can lead his and this team far into the post season. With good depth and value at drafting positions, this team is of many different creeds and colors, just like the Diamond Dog himself.

Overall: B

Clearing House

This team looks like it could do some real damage. Great value picks across the board. Clyde the glide looking to reclaim his full time running back position from Mckinnon and Pacheco and I think he's capable. This team is young and hungry and I'd be willing to say that Greg Joseph and Cole Kmet could probably be the two best golfers in this league. The house has been cleared and a new team awaits the season.

Overall: C+

Chuck's Worst Nightmare

I'm assuming the team was named this because the Diamond Dogs and CWN go head to head to open the season. Kamara is a beast whether running the ball or running routes to get those half PPR points. Deebo is a game changer. Hunter Renfrow is trailer trash.

Mike Williams probably won't see a pass completed his way during a chiefs game. Look for this team to go the distance this season.

Overall: A

Kupp my Balls

For about a decade Krupp my Balls has been auto drafting and it has raise the ire of the rest of the group. For once, he set up a queue because he was busy during the draft and got some of the players he wanted. Thielen is talented but getting older. Evans is injury prone. There's a lot not to like about this team. I mentioned the queue that was set up because a young Trey Lance went very, very early in this draft. This writer wishes we could Lance this team from the league like a boil.

Overall: F

Jacks Bait Shop Ball Grabbers

This year was amazing because the Ball Grabbers got to reunite with longtime keeper pick Derek Carr, who has options at his disposal this year making him a viable backup QB. Williams and Bourne were both probably bad picks, but that will get worked out later. Anywho, I got a cat on my lap and a bean to burn. Live long and prosper, friends.

Overall: C